Ye Olde Fantasies

It's always pleasant for me when I can steal other people's ideas rather than come up with my own. So when Haron published her podcast about childhood spanking fantasies and Not So Innocent Indy continued the conversation on her blog, I knew I'd been handed post material on a silver platter.

I love books. I love children's books. I don't give my children's books away to existing children that they might enjoy a more enriched childhood, I hoard them all to myself — well, allegedly I'm preserving them for my "future offspring" but since I don't want kids I guess I'll need a new excuse. Anyway. The topic is close to my heart. While my first memory of being aroused by a spanking is from watching a cartoon, I, too, was one of those furtive readers-of-spanking-scenes in children's lit. Laura Ingalls, Caddie Woodland, Roald Dahl, Anne of Green Gables, the various naughty children of the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle series and of course the Blytonverse.

I think a good game to play with a group of literary-type spankos would be to call out random titles from the classics or from children's stories and race to see who can identify the spanking reference fastest.

Perhaps my favorite story was Enid Blyton's "The Magic Walking Stick," about an enchanted cane that whipped its little owner whenever he told unkind tales about people. The cane could talk, too, and during the whipping would shriek out 'tattle tale!' or something.

The Anne of Green Gables franchise is fraught with reference to CP. But my favorite spanking moment from the work of L.M. Montgomery is actually found in her "Emily" trilogy. "Emily Climbs" features an amazing chapter called "The Woman Who Spanked the King." It's a spanking story masquerading as a regular old story. Glorious.

And then there are the joys of Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. If you're unfamiliar with the series, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle is a kindly, eccentric lady famous for her creative remedies for curing the faults of naughty children. While she herself typically suggests more interesting punishments than spanking, in a series all about bratty children readers aren't starved for spankings.

Haron talked about not really knowing what a spanking was at an early age. And Indy said she couldn't remember a time when she didn't know, as it was used at home and school. My fantasies took shape in a world where I had always known what a spanking was, but had no experience of what a real over-the-knee old-fashioned spanking actually felt like. 

My ignorance didn't stop me from writing about it. I wrote all kinds of stories. But unlike Haron, who innocently thought her porn was regular ol' fiction, I always had a strong sense of secrecy and shame when it came to this part of me. (What's that about? I blame my parents. Just kidding, parents! Dear god. My parents had better not be reading this.)

Veering away from that disturbing path... I was secretive about my stories. But still prolific. I wrote about all kinds of children in all kinds of situations. I usually wrote from the bottom's point of view, but not always. At first I always wrote wholly fictional persons, but at some point I got in the habit of giving the protagonists my own name, for the added charge. The characters didn't always resemble me, but they got spanked, which was the main thing.

Like Indy, I realized this was all some strange sexual issue when I was about twelve. It actually came as a relief, cause before I had no idea what was going on. Spankings were bad! Violence was bad! Hitting children is bad! So why did I crave it? Now I was closer to an answer.

Anyway. My desire for spanking is older, stronger and clearer than anything else about my sexuality. And while cravings and tastes evolve, some of the fantasies that work for me now were ones I entertained as a kid. You know the weird thing? In my years of knowing I had a fetish but still feeling ashamed of it, one of my reasons for my embarrassment was that my particular fetish seemed "childish."

Go figure.