It's flash, it's fiction, it's Fliction. A tale in 250 words or less. Below you'll find today's effort!
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"There's no way that's enough to feed five thousand people."
"Don't interrupt, young man."
"That wouldn't feed my big brother."
"Hence, why we refer to them as 'miracles' — "
"And this 'five thousand' business." Danny ignored Sister Agatha. The rest of us exchanged tense glances. "How'd they all hear him, without microphones?"
"Are you quite finished?"
"It's illogical. Two lousy fish... It's just math, Sister."
Danny was new to Sunday School. His mother enrolled him after undergoing what she called 'conversion' and my mom called 'rehab.' He was used to being the sharpest kid in class — math medal, straight A's. Our regular schoolteacher loved when students showed 'independent thinking.'
I'd been in catechism longer.
"The Lord's Gopsel resides on a somewhat higher level than arithmetic," Sister answered drily.
"I don't get it!" Danny shook his head. "Explain it — you're the teacher!"
"Christ is the teacher."
Sister Agatha did not abide flippant boys. It wasn't so much that she found fault with Danny's logic as she believed all children fundamentally incapable of logic. We watched, faces painted pious, as she extracted Danny from his chair. She arranged him across her lap in a position that plainly affronted him. Then, with martyrly patience, she prevailed upon him in the traditional manner of ruler-bearing catechists.
As Danny struggled, I skipped ahead in our text. The raising of Lazarus. I couldn't help wondering which, in the ensuing battle — of Sister's ruler, Danny's logic, Danny's backside and Holy Writ — would come out strongest.
Things I love about your writing:
ReplyDelete1. Your conciseness. This is something I envy and admire, since I am incapable of it unless posting to Twitter.
2. Your dry sense of humour. Even when you're not being funny funny, everything you write is pervaded with this black wit. His mother enrolled him after undergoing what she called 'conversion' and my mom called 'rehab.' made me cackle out loud.
3. The way that your stories are really hot, but the hotness is entirely located in the reality of the characters and believability/inevitability of the scenarios, rather than in purple descriptions of spanking action. I love the way that the actual spanking is often almost incidental to the hotness of your scenarios - the eroticism all resides in the surrounding conflict and anticipation. The spankings themselves are described with the sort of casual flippancy of a narrator who ISN'T turned on by it, like, it's just a fact of life - so us pervs can't immerse ourselves in florid descriptions, which is kind of funny, but that's okay because we're already totally immersed in the scene. I'm not explaining this very well. But it's awesome.
Glad you were entertained!
ReplyDelete1. For a long time I wasn't into the whole 'short short' thing because I also have a penchant for wordiness. But then I realized... flash fiction takes so much *less time* than regular-length stories. And I like working with challenges, like a 250-word limit — which, though I know no one's counting, I'm very strict about!
2. Aw. I like making you laugh : )
3. I get what you're saying exactly! You're right, I don't typically go into detailed descriptions of the actual spanking — partly because I don't know actually know how to write that, and also, as a reader, it's not the kind of thing I find most interesting. I'm intrigued (in both fiction and fantasy life) by atmosphere, character, power dynamics and suchlike. Then one's imagination can take care of the rest...
Ah, I see that it doesn't matter that it's taken me a week to read and comment, as Pandora's already said everything that needs to be said! I particularly liked the last line. Having the story told by a sensitive child as the narrator works really well, too.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more!
I love it. What a perfect way to explain the mysteries surrounding faith and religion. With a ruler!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
Thank you ma'am. Please ma'am may we have another post?
ReplyDeleteMiss you, Graham...
What Pandora said (although there's no way I could have put it as eloquently myself) :-)
ReplyDeleteFlash fiction = fab. I'd give it a go but I have a total inability to stick to word limits (I actually made up the word count on my final dissertation because I knew I'd gone so far over - happily, no one seemed to notice).
Descarte the French philospher once said. "I think therefore I am." Danny was absolutely right, because he thought logically. Therefore Sister Agatha, should have been put over Danny's knees, her habit raised high by him, her bloomers lowered to half mast, and walloped soundly, by his hand, until it took on a bright red glow. So be it.
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